The Truth Behind My Awkward Social Nature

You walk into Happy Hour and there is this girl sitting with your co-worker, you assume it’s the wife as you have heard about her but haven’t met her yet. As you are introduced, you realize that yes it is. But she is just sitting there. Saying nothing, is she even listening? What is her deal? Is she a snob? Why did she even come, if she didn’t want to be here?

My Awkward Social Nature

Well, that girl would be me and I actually do want to be there. My awkward social nature gets in my way. I love being around others, I love big group activities, I love hosting. Meeting me in person though you’d never ever guess those things. I’m quiet and awkward.

I do better if Jason is with me, but not much. Which is why I’d rather he went with me everywhere then I go alone or with someone else. He is like my security blanket that makes it all better.  Plus I just enjoy things more when he is around, I find I can relax and experience better and I want to share those experiences with him.

I joked on my personal facebook page that I should do a blog post about my weirdness since if I know you in person I probably won’t actually talk to you, but hey I want to add you on facebook so I can, please? Cause really I went through and requested a bunch of people from soccer. I figure maybe if they knew I wasn’t really a snob and actually wanted to get to know them that maybe I can get to know others and actually get more people to come over or do happy hours again.

My Awkward Social Nature

Friending You On Facebook

means hey I really like you and want to get to know you more. I want you to read that I am actually very quiet in person, but a complete loud mouth online and want to be real life friends. I can get quite post happy on facebook without meaning to be, especially on Fridays, please don’t get too annoyed with that and still like me?

Inviting You To Events

again hey I like you, please come. I like group activities, as mentioned above. I love hosting. I do better at being comfortable in my own home than I do elsewhere, so you are more likely to get to know me better. So please won’t you come? I like hosting game nights and want to get more interaction.

See I get bossy and outspoken enough in my home to gather everyone to do the group shot.  The one on the left took several attempts even.

Happy Hours

I like happy hours.  It’s okay to go out with just Jason and I but I feel we both enjoy it much more when others go with us.  So join us for happy hour won’t you?  What about dinner and/or drinks after soccer?  

I can even get a little brave at our favorite happy hour place, Cameo Cafe of Washington.

Small Talk

I struggle with what to say in person, but can think of many things to say in writing.  I haven’t a clue of why.  I have no problems if you ask me questions, I will readily answer them, but don’t expect me to think of what to ask you or come back with.

Even before the internet and social media, I’d write you a note to get to know you.  It just how I was more comfortable expressing myself.  It seems to be how I am built.

So that is it.  I’m a social creature but in an awkward social nature body.  I swear to you that once I get to know you and spend time with you, okay a lot  of time, it’ll get better.  But be warned that each time at the beginning it’s going to be my awkward social nature peeking its head out.

What kind of social creature are you?

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  • Debbie Gibson

    What kind of creature am I? I guess I can be quiet until I get comfortable, and then all bets are off. I am a bit of a smart ass, and like making people laugh.

    • You are that. hehe But a loving smart ass 😉

  • Sarah @ Will Run for Pasta

    I totally get it!! I am terrible at meeting new people and can only make it through so much small talk before my mind literally shuts off and words just won’t come out of my mouth! But get me on email or FB and I’m chatty and hilarious, haha! Hopefully it felt good to share this and will help others to understand you better <3

    • Thanks Sarah! It was more an explanation on how I work in real life. lol

  • I am not very socially awkward, but I can totally relate to being able to write better than speak. Sometimes I am at a total loss for words in person, but I’ll Facebook message you like a champ!!!

    And let’s make a deal: you come here and I’ll show you the Cali sights, then I’ll go there for game night. Deal? 😉

    • It’s a deal Miranda!!! Sounds like a good plan to me.

    • Are you two within driving distance? Of course, that’s all about perception, but if you’re a planner, you can make it work.

      • I think we are about 14 hours driving distance away, give or take. We drive to WA usually once a year to my mother-in-law’s and that’s about how long it takes us. So yea, driving distance but a quite far one. Maybe next time we go to my in-laws we should plan something!

        • and Jason’s Grandma and my brother live down there too…so its not far fetched at all.

  • We are so very similar Angie, which is why I haven’t shown up to one of your gatherings when invited. It’s not cause I’m being rude or stuck up, just feel it will be awkward once I meet/show up since I, like you, don’t like small talk. LOL We’d be sitting there not communicating cause we both wouldn’t know what to talk about. hehe

    • I always say though too you can’t get to know someone without putting forth to effort too. So at some point we are going to have to meet in the middle and see how we do. 🙂

    • Blogger + Blogger = Not as socially awkward as you’d think. I went to a vision board party with a bunch of bloggers last Fall and I literally had to drag myself, but I did it because I committed. I had a great time and met lots of great gals. It still took me a bit to warm up, but it was totally worth it. The two of you HAVE TO meet! Gatherings make it easier because if one conversation is lacking, often someone else can step in and ignite the fire. I’m sure I’m telling you things you both already know, but I’m your cheerleader! Just do it!

      • I haven’t a clue of what being a blogger could be to say anything about in person. lol But really we’ll try at some point I am sure, even if its just meeting at the Garage or something 😉

  • Sweet Silly Sara

    I have been struggling with social awkwardness for about 3 years now… I used to be so congenial! friendly! fun to be around! Then I became a mom… started spending way too much time at home. Now, I have no idea what to say to anyone face to face. Ask me what my hobbies are and you might hear crickets chrip in the background, or you might get an answer like “I really enjoy tissues…”

    I too communicate better in writing. Facebook can be such a good thing for getting to know others, especially when you are like I am now. Seriously, socially awkward…

    Love the post Angie! Too bad we are on other sides of the country or we could hang out together and act all awkward together. {I may blush if you ask me a question! HA!}

    • At least you at one time you knew how to be more openly social. This is how I’ve always been, so I feel like I am just trying to explain my weird self half of the time so people will take the chance on me. I guess being better in writing explains our job!

  • Carmita Barnes

    This is really great sis. We had so much fun with you guys hanging out at Cameo Café. Really hoping we can do it again this year. I am just the opposite of you I can talk and engage well in person but can’t write worth a darn lol !

    • You can, you open and friendly in real life. I’ll just hide behind ya, uhm okay!

      • Carmita Barnes

        sounds good to me lol ! fyi I brag about you all the time how amazing you ! <3

  • Savvy WorkingGal

    You have a great smile – it makes you look really approachable. I’m an introvert, so I have to force myself to be sociable at times. Smiling helps. I also do better one-on-one, so at my networking group I sometimes seek out the new person. They always appreciate having someone to talk to. Sometimes asking what are you working on works better than what do you do. Or where do you work. That question could even work with stay-at-home moms and bloggers.

    • Aww thanks Savvy! I don’t do well one-on-one until I really know you, I do better in groups when the focus isn’t all on me. Once I am comfortable I am fine, its just getting over those barriers.

  • My friends used to tell me that I interview new people when I meet them. I find other people’s stories so much more interesting than telling mine. I would keep asking question after question. I’m still the same way except since the stroke finding the questions is harder so these days people think I’m a mouse until they actually engage me.

    • I like questions both in person and online. Just sayin’ 😉 And it’s okay it takes you a bit longer, nothing wrong with that.

  • aprilaakre

    I think there are a lot of people that do better in their own environment. People can also jump to the conclusion that a person is a snob if they don’t talk. I am a quiet person when I first get to know people I am not one to go up and start a conversation . I wish that people wouldn’t make quick judgements and just get to know people.

    • Right? And me with me it takes SO much time before I start to be more me that most don’t take the time. So I feel like I am trying to explain myself over and over again.

  • I’m kinda both socially awkward and the polar opposite. It depends on the situation. At work (my day job), I’m a total black sheep. I’m there for work and I feel awkward socializing with folks. Like you, I want to connect with those people I see in person all the time, but I’ve added them on Facebook and feel more comfortable sending them messages electronically versus actually talking to them. It takes me MONTHS of being around someone at work to warm up and again it depends on the person. We’ve got a guy who has been there for a year and if he brings up photography, I can talk to him like he’s my best friend. I want to help him at work since he’s new to the industry, but I don’t know how to approach it. I kinda feel like he doesn’t like me, unless we’re talking about photography.

    On another note, if the same person were at a BBQ or a bonfire with a small or medium group, especially if Travis were there, I’d feel totally comfortable. Groups that are TOO large are not necessarily for me. It’s not that I want to be “the spotlight”, but in large groups I feel unusually drowned out; perhaps unimportant.

    I’m glad you posted this. It’s really got me thinking. Travis and I spend a lot of time at home, but we’re constantly wondering how to make new friends. He’s more shy than I am. The first night we spent together in a group, he barely talked. It was a holiday weekend party, so liquid courage helped me peel his lips apart. The good thing about that is that it opened up the flood gates and that holiday Monday we spent HOURS walking around the town green/park just talking to each other, holding hands and stopping periodically to sit on the benches.

    Hrmph, maybe people at work think I’m a snob? I know I spend 40 hours per week with them, but when new people come in, I have no problem helping at all, but as far as putting out the welcome mat? I’m not the one who invited them. This is not my house. I don’t KNOW you, so I really don’t care how you are until/unless it affects your work. It’s work. Does that make be a B?

    This has opened up a whole, big, introspective can-of-worms for me, but it’s the kind of worms I enjoy; the kind of worms that help me to become a better person, to step outside of my comfort zone.

    • Rose Powell

      I love how Angie’s post really got your thinking and helped get the gears grinding this is how we help, encourage and inspire others! Beautiful!

    • I LOVE large groups, as long as Jason is there, because than I can observe and test the waters without being in the spotlight. Its the perfect combination for me to get to know someone. I’m glad I got ya thinkin’ – it makes me feel good that there has been so much interaction on this post.

  • Rose Powell

    This is perfect. The perfect thought provoking
    post Angie. I think in a sense we can all relate depending on the
    circumstances and social situations, but introspectively speaking, I
    believe we can all learn when we think about it and get brutally honest!

  • Rose Powell

    I am extremely shy and bashful by social situations. I’m more open to being social when I am in my home as well. I feel like people see me in an unfavorable and unflattering light, it feels intrusive, insincere and investigative. I don’t like that, so I almost ALWAYS end up socializing with my nieces and nephews. They read to me, they tell me about school, friends, likes, I try to get involve with them because they want to be heard and they’re often overlooked, but they are so full of life, they’re interesting. I am as shy as shy gets, but once I open up, I’m good. If we connect, you can’t get rid of me. Am I am big talker, no, not really, in ANY situation. I am awkward, but, I like me. xo Thanks for this post Angie.

    • I am usually the one to flop down on the floor whatever animal someone has. Those meme’s you see where I’ll say hi to the dog before looking the human in the eyes, yep that is me. To an exact tee, now if someone got in the floor with me and started to interact with the animal too with me, I’d get more comfortable quicker. I like me fairly well too, if only people tried more with me.

  • Rose Powell

    Ps. I love the new additions you’re sharing on your blog lately, it’s not fluff, it’s really connecting with your readers. Love it.

  • I love reading blog posts that are personal. It gives us all a glimpse into the real you 🙂 Thank you! I am pretty outgoing in social situations but am a definite homebody.

    • Thanks LaVonne, I love these type of posts from other bloggers too. It just feels more real to me.