Feeling Off – Detached

As I have briefly mentioned over the course of the few personal posts I have done in the last couple weeks, we had our world kind of put off-balance.  Which has left me feeling off and a bit lost.

I like routine.  I like things to be done on certain days, and certain times.  I am not big on change.  Or least change that happens all of a sudden.  

It’s the Holiday’s.  Yet I don’t feel all cheery and happy.  The tree is up, there are Christmas decorations out, yet I am not feeling that Holiday spirit.  Which I think has a lot to do with our change, which happened the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

I am trying to keep up on the blog and make it even more successful going into the new year.  But my heart just isn’t there right now.  I am trying though.  I need this blog, I need the income, I need the interaction.

We are hosting a party this Saturday and are in the works of finishing cleaning up the house for guests.  Figuring out what exactly we are having and how many we are feeding.  Yet, people are not responding, go figure.  I don’t know why I try hosting, no one but Debbie comes.  It makes me cranky.  Yet I always prepare the house, the food, the games – just in case others DO come.  They don’t, but I prepare just in case.

This past year has been odd for us.  For people who rarely get hurt or sick, we have had it all it seems.  Now THIS.  *sighs*

I do have a feeling that this change is in the long-run for the better, but its hard to know when things are in limbo.  

I keep stalking both my personal email and Jason’s in hopes that good news of some kind will come flying to give us both a bit of cheer.  Who am I kidding, I always stalk my email for that kind of news no matter the time of year or season.

I am hoping that 2015 is MUCH better.  That there are more silver linings than thunder.  I know others have it much worse and I am thankful for what I do have and who I have in my life.  I just needed to vent to, hopefully, feel a tad better.  Hoping that some of the feeling off flies away once I hit post.